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hallwayjulie in domestic_snark

Help, firebrick!

I'm so confused. How am I supposed to shape, stretch, and roll out pizza dough on a preheated pizza stone that's already in the hot oven? Am I supposed to climb into the oven with it? Am I supposed to sacrifice my hands for the sake of a delicious pizza with a crispy crust? HOW DO I MAKE PIZZA ON A FIREBRICK?

Oh...wait...you mean I can assemble the pizza OUTSIDE the oven and then transfer it onto the heated stone in the oven?? Well, that makes a lot more sense.


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Good find
I made that face when I read it.
Seriously. I read it and couldn't even post. You use a pizza peel or a flat cookie sheet. How is this hard?
Apparently it's different in Canada.
And here I was going to offer her welder's gloves and a nice flame-retardent disco suit just like the ones we use when pouring bronze!

I like the cape sleeve one. I should buy that and wear it to church.
That made me LOL so hard when I got to it in my feed.
You and me both.
I've barely ever made pizza from scratch, & even when being confronted with a pizza stone for the first time a few years ago I knew to slide the pizza onto it already assembled
Eh. We make pizza in a round, inch-deep pizza pan at home. The first time I was presented with a pizza stone for making pizza, I was deeply confused, too. "But it's in a pan. Do I put the pan on the stone?"
I was a little confused too. I make GF pizza and it doesn't behave like normal dough...I don't think I'd even be able to use a pizza stone.
And I'll bet you anything that the OP bought a $40 pizza stone from Pampered Chef or some crap instead of going to freakin' Lowe's and getting a $2 unglazed paving stone.
Hahahaha. You actually win here, because I do own an actual pizza stone, but at least I got it as a gift. When I received it at 24 y/o, I never would've known the paving stone trick.
The word FIREBRICK needs to be uttered more frequently on LJ.
Agreed! Clearly that was also my favorite part.

Swimming upstream

Normally I am all about the snark BUT I can see her side some too. If she is not someone who cooks a lot I can relate to her questions. She is not being all dramatic so the "am I supposed to climb into the oven" bit seems a little over done.

Re: Swimming upstream

Eh. This sentence: "How am I gonna get the "firebrick" stone out of the oven, or shape/stretch/pat down the dough on the stone while still in the oven and then add all the toppings ... ? " put a funny image in my head of trying to assemble a pizza inside an oven. And if she's making her own pizza dough, I wouldn't figure that she's someone who doesn't cook much.
Aww, I kind of wish nobody had told her. . . I can just picture her straddling the open oven door, wearing a welder's mask and Dr. Horrible style gloves, or maybe flinging toppings inside with a clay pigeon thrower. . .
I have a pizza stone. My son insisted on it when he went on a pizza making craze.

He used it once. I've never used it.

It's still sitting comfortably in the oven. Which I rarely use these days now I'm cooking for one.
Oh wow, I thought you were exaggerating before I read the post.
I thought about commenting on the OP, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Too much dumb up in thurrr.
I was just utterly confused by the whole thing...I have a pizza stone, and even after pre-heating it, its quite manageable to remove from the oven. Its not like you hold the thing in one hand for an extended period of time and try to juggling the pizza dough onto it with the other....
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