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cumaeansibyl in domestic_snark

Everybody clap as hard as you can, and Tinkerbell will live you'll be rich in no time!

Call me crazy, but I think poor_skills might be the wrong place to spread the gospel of "you only have problems because you're not happy enough."


Stuff like that annoys me to no end. It just seems like an overly simplistic way to explain why "bad things happen to good people" (you brought it on yourself!). Not only for the major things like cancer etc. but financial hardships etc. Yeah, while our decisions play a big part in it, there are existing social/economic/political systems that influence and affect us.
It just seems like it's trying to give people a false sense of control and reinforces the 'blaming the victim' mentality while giving people a new way to pass judgment on others.
Word up, yo.
Icon love!
hahaha nice icon.
God, yes. That's exactly why it bugs me. It encourages complacency, magical thinking, and victim-blaming. How coincidental that it's popular during the Bush administration :-P
I am going to have to watch that video now, but man o man it looks like a big 'ol pile of crazy. From the description, it sounds Tony Robbins-esque.
My husband and I have gone through some bad times financially. We kept good attitudes about it because we really didn't have any other choice and we knew there would eventually be an end to it. A good attitude helped our marriage but it sure didn't pay the bills.
Heh. That reminds me of a friend who went bankrupt trying to follow "Millionaire Mind".
Guh. That shit again. I went to a small party recently where the hostess is a widow (she was a military wife, her husband died in Afghanistan) and one of the guests had the nerve to spout this shit to her and say it was all because she had negative thoughts and that she wanted to be a widow. Yeah what way to celebrate what would have been the hostess' first wedding anniversary. Instead it was spent kicking out "The Secret" follower and comforting a sobbing woman who for two days after really did think it was her fault her husband died.
Would this guest have been Ann Coulter who said something very similar about the WTC widows?
No. Unless Coulter has become a Canadian military wife.

Anyways that woman who pulled this shit is allowed to attend meet and greets with other army wives but the moment she spouts about "the secret" she will be asked to leave.
Wow, she's going to have a nasty wake-up call someday.

(waves from East coast)
For sure. (Waves back from Prairies)
Holy shit. That woman was manifesting an ass-beating.
She was. Shame it wasn't on the base where we had access to all the fun weapons like rifles, pointy stabby things, tear gas and military rations.
I can't even imagine how that poor widow must have felt. All of a sudden you're reminded of every little niggling complaint you might have had about your husband, or times when you wished you weren't a military wife, and there's just enough there to make it plausible that you killed him... that's insidious. I'm surprised you let that idiot woman come to parties at all.
We still invite her but she refuses....we are too negative. She'll change her tune when it hits close to home, like her own spouse or her neighbour/friend who is injured or killed .
Oh my GOD.
By saying 'Things are never going to get any better and my life sucks, I can't change anything' is a very sad and dangerous place to be in life. You have to believe in yourself or nothing ever happens.

But to blame people for things that happen to them? Utter bullshit, try telling that to the 7 year old who is being molested. Oh, but wait, the 'Secret' people have said as much about the starving people of Dafaur had brought it on themselves. From an article in the Washington Post.

"I watched Bob Proctor, author of "You Were Born Rich" and one of the "gurus" Byrne quotes most often, being asked on "Nightline" whether the starving children of Darfur had "manifested" -- that is, visualized -- their own misery. In utter seriousness, he replied, "I think the country probably has."

Wow. I've never seen this outside of evangelical christianity.
You must not interact with New Age people much. I've been hearing variants on this stupid theme from them for 20 years. It makes me want to kick them.

Yet somehow, I'd never thought of the parallels with rabid evangelicals before ("If your baby died you must not have been PRAYING HARD ENOUGH!") Next time I get email from some delusional New Age fanatic, maybe I'll point out the similarity to them. Come to think of it, if I ever get cornered by an evangelist witnessing at me again, maybe I'll tell them "Hey, this sounds just like the Secret!" Something tells me the comparison is bound to piss both groups off. ;-D
My aunt is some sort of fake new-age guru and she believes that my negative thinking caused my cancer. I ignore her but I know she's been praising this "Secret" crap. Now that I have heard a brief summary of what it is, it makes complete sense to me that she would like it.
So then, by her reasoning, infants with cancer/birth defects/chronic diseases brought it on themselves by negative thinking? What a crock.

Ain't she in for a surprise. Not that I wish your aunt ill--I don't--but someday she's going to learn that positive thinking doesn't stop bad shit from happening. Just tell that to the soliders in Iraq.
Knowing a ton of evangelicals .... she probably believes that their mothers/fathers sinned or had negative thoughts or whatever.
My favorite thing is where the one guy is listed as a Visionary. Did I miss that table on career day? (I did not pay for it, I started watching it online after this post.)
While I believe positive thought is healthy and beneficial, it needs to be served with a goodsized helping of reality for sure.

One thing I noticed throughout watching the video of The Secret, is how they address the obvious problems that would occur if everyone actually had everything they WANT (note, not "need") and how could the world sustain such activity.

Their answer was "Oh, but not everyone wants material possessions and wealth so it evens out." But then, the video was obviously geared toward people who are down on their luck financially because there was such a heavy emphasis on material wealth!
... and I doubt there was very little emphasis on those who have lots of material wealth to pass even miniscule amounts of it on to those who don't.
You are precisely correct. Their wealth was accumulated through the power of their positive thinking, after all. Those poor people can go "think" their own money up.


It's really sad because a few of the points from the book made sense. Setting goals, deciding what you really want out of life...but there was nothing spoken of things like inner contentment, personal relationships, the joy of giving and helping other people...you know, the things that produce lasting happiness.
My favorite part was "If you imagine yourself getting checks in the mail, then you WILL get checks in the mail."

Now, every day when my husband brings the mail in, I ask if there are any checks in it. When there aren't, I fake yell at him that he wasn't thinking positively enough. lol

Stupid Secret. I'm all for people doing good and thinking positively, but The Secret just takes it too far. It's ridiculous.
"Why aren't our checks manifesting, bitch???!!!!" Hahahaha I can just imagine that. How funny!!!

I just worry that the Secret really targets people down on their luck or who don't know how to practically manage their finances.
I worry about that, too. Instead of teaching people that you should think positively, it pretty much tells you that if you believe you'll get something, then you will. Um, no. Those people on the video got checks in the mail because they're authors and famous people and it's normal for them to get checks in the mail. Us normal people... notsomuch. It's showing people not to manage their finances at all.
I actually do kind of think "Ooh, maybe somebody sent me money" every time I check my mail. And yet somehow, NOBODY EVER SEND ME MONEY. WTF, Secret?
Clearly you still have some negative thoughts clouding your mind. You're not fully believing in the Secret. lol
I'd love to have a little chat with these people, tell them about my life so far. Sure a happy-go-lucky attitude help you make it through, but it doesn't pay bills, it doesn't make sick kids better, and it does little to protect you from out of the blue bad news.

("Oh hey, I know you're not sick or anything, but this here routine test revealed you have cancer, and you need a hysterectomy. STAT. Oh yeah, right when it's least convenient too, what with your moving cross-province to be with your husband and all...")

I've also had good things happen and money come along when we were at our most deperate, but I doubt it was because I *willed* it to happen.

Shit happens. It just does.

It's hard enough mainting an even keel regardless of what life throws, I don't need someone telling me it's all my fault. (and I'm normally a happy go-luck, go with the flow person...)

As far as money - there's NO SUCH THING AS FREE MONEY. You work for it, and you try and get paid what you're worth. Live with it. DEAL. If you're *really* lucky, you get paid for things you like to do.
Maybe there should be a club where people beat up the secret followers, and then when they complain the club can just say, well gosh, you thought it on yourselves, didn't you.

My life has been no bed of roses, but I've always tried to maintain a happy/positive outlook - things have got to get better and therefore I can look forward to that.
Gratitude rock? Genie lamp? Aren't we a little old to be taken in by self-help gurus and their marketing ploys?
yet another example of why "new age" should be pronounced to rhyme with "sewage."

The same people who keep trying to get me to read this were the ones who, more than a dozen years ago, pressured me into reading Celestine Prophecy (gag). Official prediction: people who keep pimping this book will still be losers in 5 or 6 years when the next piece of trendy over-hyped crap comes along.
I never read The Celestine Prophecy, but I Netflixed the recent film version solely because one of my favorite actors, Thomas Kretschmann, is in it. Its saccharine idiocy made me want to vomit. Quite possibly THE WORST FILM EVER MADE.

I wish I could make this mandatory

Simple modern psychology:

Internal versus external locus of control is the range of beliefs regarding how we impact our environment. People with a strongly internal locus of control believe that at some level, they create their own world in every detail both good and bad (ie, the Secret). Such people are usually very successful in life although they tend to be obsessive and controlling (duh). People with a highly externalized locus of control believe that they have almost no control over what happens to them because outside events are the biggest determinant. Such people tend to be far more relaxed (and charitable) and less prone to heart attacks, but they also tend to blame society/the universe/everyone else for their problems.

You can be mentally healthy and fall anywhere along that continuum, but the safest place is obviously somewhere in the middle.
Is the "gratitude rock" like a pet rock?

Hm. I have "gratitude cats". And a fridge full of "gratitude beer". Will that do?
They're grateful that I drag my ass to work every day to allow me to wait on them hand and foot.
mmm gratitude beer.


So s/he acklowedhes that their stuff is overpriced, but it doesn't occur to her/him that that goes for the Secret "philosophy" as a whole?

Some coworker even had the gall to send our entire company an email, encouraging everyone to read it. Fortunately, it was also her "goodbye, i'm leaving my job" email, but please, just leave already.

All Your Fault!

If you had thought more positively she'd have left sooner.
I'm what most would call a "New Age" type person, but that looks and sounds like a flaming bag of dog doo to me!